Keeping It Right

Keeping It Right is for thought provoking conversationist. It's for those who love to talk about today's issues, yesterday's history and tomorrow's future.

Location: Moreno Valley, CA

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Fanz23 - Remembering Valenda...

I wrote this exactly three years ago about my friend, Valenda. I dunno what made me repost this blog entry, I guess she was on my mind and I'm wishing she could see me as I am now...

Monday, May 07, 2007
Good Bye - Sweet Lady

Today, I decided to drop a few lines to a good friend of mine, one of whom I haven't heard from in a while. I knew that she was battling bone cancer, but when I last heard from her, she said she was doing well. I believed it and would not believe that she would leave this life so early. [Sadly]I was wrong.

So today, in my E-mail, I put down, that I hadn't heard from her in awhile and that I hoped all was well. It never occurred to me that the E-mail would fall short and not be delivered. So when it did, I felt this uneasiness about the return e-mail and something just told me to check "lexis."

There she was.

Valenda C. DeCohen, her social security death notification. She died in December of 2006 and was only 46 years old. My heart sank and although I knew it was her, I didn't want to believe it, so I checked the local news papers and there she was...

It was.

It had everything I knew about her in it and like her four children, her mother, her twin sister and father. I now have to come to grips that she is gone.

I, like everyone who came into contact with her, is left with good memories and funnies ones. She was my and could have been one of my best, best friends. I confided in her, like she confided in me. She listened to me and vice versa. We used to talk to each other in the early mornings.

Well I was her alarm clock.

I can't believe she is gone, but at least she is no longer in pain. And I'm not talking about the physical pain that her cancer put her through. I'm talking about the pain her ex-husband put her through. After years of supporting him and giving him four children. He upped and left, cause she wanted to grow as a person. She wanted to define herself as a woman, wife, mother and all of that was for him. How'd he accept it, he got the family together at the dinner table and announced that he didn't want to be married anymore. He fought, kicked and scratched to avoid paying child support, took her three boys away and made her fend for herself.

She was a strong woman, a woman who piqued a lot of curiosity and above all...She was a lady.

Thank you Valenda for allowing to me celebrate your graduation from Cal.State Dominquez and into your life path way. I will NEVER forget you and you will remain a piece of my heart.

Good bye Sweet Lady

Valenda C. DeCohen (1960 - 2006)

December 21, 2006
Age 46, peacefully made her transition on December 18, 2006. She was a beloved mother, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin and friend. Lynn, as she was affectionately called, had a zest for life and lived it to the fullest. A native Detroiter, she moved to the Los Angeles area in 1975. In 2004, she moved to Dallas, where she was an educator until she was diagnosed with cancer. She moved back to Detroit in November 2005 to be with her mother and family while seeking treatment for her illness. Lynn was a woman of faith. She loved the Lord, as was evidenced by her beautiful smile, kind, loving heart and magnificent spirit. Last summer she planted a beautiful vegetable garden because she was a nature lover who enjoyed the outdoors. She especially loved the mountains and the ocean. Lynn is survived by her daughter, Jezreel; sons, Kadesh, Jeremy and Ethan DeCohen; devoted mother, Patricia Marshall; father and stepmother, Harold and Paula Ward; sisters, Vanessa Ward Hines, Dana Hugle, Makeva Ward, Torri and Gina Hill; brothers, Darrell Wells and Rashaan Washington; a loving companion, Hussein Lynks; aunts, Jacqueline Lowe and Diane (Jules) Jenkins; uncle, Kenneth (Mary) Marshall, a special uncle Jerome Readus; and nieces, nephews, cousins and numerous friends. A family hour will be held at 10 a.m. on Friday, December 22, 2006, at St. Stephen A.M.E. Church, 6000 John E. Hunter Dr. in Detroit. A memorial service will follow at 11 a.m. A private scattering will take place in May 2007 in Angeles National Forest in Altadena, California, as well as in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Long Beach, CA. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorial donations be made to St. Stephen A.M.E. Church for the Valenda Cheryl DeCohen Scholarship Fund

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