The RF23 "Sarge" Report....Sports Of Course
Group! Ah Ten Ha!! alright now, at ease, I see you all are looking a little bit fresh from your two day pass. I hope you ladies had a good weekend and since none of you came down on the blotter report and 'ol sarge had to interrupt his weekend to bail you out of the pokey. Now lets get started over this weekend's events and I'm going to do things a little bit different with my sports take today. Okay, ready, lets begin:
Boxing: Who's the baddest man on the planet? If the name Floyd Mayweather, Jr., does not come out, there is something wrong. with you! On Saturday, the pretty boy faced a hostile, tea and biscuit eatin, disrespectin' the national anthem, dark beer and teeth british crowd in his own adopted hometown of Las Vegas aka Lost Wages, NV and showed the above drunkin' brits why they lost the Revolutionary War and dumped their nasty tea in the harbor. And in case some of you doubters forgot about the American spirit and willingness to hand out, excuse me, azz!! whoopins when we absolutely positively got to do, what we gotta do. Floyd reminded us and the brits of that on Saturday. He entered the ring on Bruce Springsteen's, "Born in the USA," and the boos were louder than the cheers. But that didn't bother Floyd, folks we're talking about a man, who came into the ring in Mexican garb to beat down favorite Mexican fighters. I dunno who is hated worse, Manny Pacquio or Mayweather, either way it looks like boxing's version of the civil war. Pacquio as Gen. Sherman and Mayweather as Gen. Grant, stomping through the enemy and burning hopes and big money dreams.
Anyway! back to the fight, As predicated, a game Ricky Hatton did exactly what the sarge and Tayo [co-worker] predicted he would do, and this is where the sarge and Tayo separate. You see, last week on Tuesday, Mr. Popoola [Tayo] came into the Sarge's encampment and said this:
"I think I know who I'm going to go with and it's going to surprise you." and in shock and awe of the forthcoming pick from a man who was titled the "the fight man" by the Major [co-worker], an expert! and great purveyor of the squared circle, the expert on December 7th, 2007, 66 years after what is called a day that will live in infamy, picked Ricky Hatton to win the fight!! His mind was made up! and would not listen to reason of any kind! the shop was closed and the expert billed us his expert fees and guess what?! we got knocked the (expletive) out! Well not we, but Ricky Hatton did.
Let me bring in John Madden of NBC Sports to describe that fateful ninth and tenth rounds...Come on in John, say hi to the group.
John: That was a great fight on Saturday...Who would've thought those British fans and the brits played the drums..I was expecting bag pipes, lets go to the madden-strator and see! see that guy with the drum and the two drum beating sticky things, he's pounding away, bam bam bam! that's all we heard were those ear drum ringing drums.
Me: Okay Madden, lets get to the fight, you were there, describe it...
John: Well in the ninth round it was obvious that the Floyd Mayweather's defensive line was wearing down and beating Hatton's offensive line in the trenches. Mayweather's defense held Hatton's offense in check all night long, beating him in the inside and had the outside covered. Let's look at the tape, you see here in the ninth round, you got Hatton doing his thing, and running his offense, he's trying to gain real estate, but Mayweather's defense is shutting all that down, now watch this change, when Mayweather's defense gets a take-away and is looking to score off Hatton's mistake, watch this, boom! Pow! and you got blood and cuts.
Me: Okay John, now the ninth round is over and it's the beginning of the tenth..Now I said, that Hatton's charging and pressing style was going to hurt him, cause of the defensive nature of Floyd and the fact that Floyd's hand speed is quicker. Basically, I said this:
"By the time, Hatton got to Floyd to do his one punch and hold tactic, he would've received a combination and quick right to the head."
Madden: Oh! boy, were you right! lets look at the tenth, you have Hatton, on his last hurrah, because he was hurt in the previous round, looking to go all or nothing, he's charging and BAM!! like you called it, Sarge!! Floyd throws a right and slips to his left and BOOM! a devestating left that causes an already charging forward Hatton to hit his head on the ring turn buckle.
Me: Have you seen anything like that before?
Madden: Only in those professional wrestling shows, but not in boxing....
Me: Well, thanks John, and please feel free to not place Minnesota's Adrian Peterson on your next Madden Game...
Madden: Why, whaddya mean, are saying it's a curse?
Me: You know darn well it is....Now scram before I weld some wings on your bus and you imitate the Wright Brothers going down some hill on the highway. Yeah, well your mother....Hall of Famer my a-, never mind.
Anyway as John put it, it was bam and boom! and Hatton ended up on his back. Now lets quickly touch on other sports:
NFL: Well it looks like the Patriots are going to go undefeated, they beat the Steelers and according to the Major [co-worker], he earned a dollar for a very small investment. The Cowboys came back to snatch victory from the Lions 28-27. The lions were beaten by Jason Whitten, when they made a conscious effort to shut down T.O., which they were successful at. Also, the Cowboys clinched their division, along with the Packers and Seahawks. On the AFC side, the Chargers came from behind to tie and win in overtime in Tennessee, putting the Titans in a very bad spot. I won't comment on LaDainian Tomlinson's act on the sideline, except to say all claims that he is a crybaby and a whiner. True. And I don't want to hear him call anyone or any team class-less.
NBA: Remember when Kareem was on his last legs in the league and when we once looked forward to seeing him with the ball, that turned into a skyhook, to grimacing when Magic passed the ball inside, knowing that Kareem didn't have it anymore. That was painful. Now, we're looking at an aging and battered Shaq do the same thing and the Heat better do something about that quickly. The Lakers have a three game winning streak and last night, Andrew Bynum showed he had a pulse and scored 20 points, yeah in one game!
NHL: After a good start to the hockey season, the Kings are, who they thought they were and the Ducks, well I dunno, I think they're still celebrating, but at least starting to win games.
NCAAB: The Wooden Classic was this weekend and the Bruins looked lackluster against Davidson, but righted the ship with a victory. It's nice to know that Duke is Duke and they're on TV, more than "Leave it to Beaver" re-runs. They looked good against Michigan. Or Michigan is really a bad team. USC's OJ Mayo is going to hear this a lot if teams shut him down, "hold the Mayo." Although the one and done freshman is looking good and getting pub. SC is playing inconsistent ball.
The Sarge Report is getting attention: On Thursday, L.A. Times Sports Columnist, Kurt Streeter e-mailed me in regard to former UCLA football coach Karl Dorrell. Of course most of you know that Streeter wrote a column that enraged some Bruins fans and me shaking my head when Streeter led Dorrell down "race card" alley. It seemed that new columnist had a lot to say and he went off on the Sarge. So after calming Streeter down, we were e-mailing back and forth all day on Friday. Now the Major ordered me to stand down and let Streeter get away with his rhetoric, but I couldn't resist.
Boxing: Who's the baddest man on the planet? If the name Floyd Mayweather, Jr., does not come out, there is something wrong. with you! On Saturday, the pretty boy faced a hostile, tea and biscuit eatin, disrespectin' the national anthem, dark beer and teeth british crowd in his own adopted hometown of Las Vegas aka Lost Wages, NV and showed the above drunkin' brits why they lost the Revolutionary War and dumped their nasty tea in the harbor. And in case some of you doubters forgot about the American spirit and willingness to hand out, excuse me, azz!! whoopins when we absolutely positively got to do, what we gotta do. Floyd reminded us and the brits of that on Saturday. He entered the ring on Bruce Springsteen's, "Born in the USA," and the boos were louder than the cheers. But that didn't bother Floyd, folks we're talking about a man, who came into the ring in Mexican garb to beat down favorite Mexican fighters. I dunno who is hated worse, Manny Pacquio or Mayweather, either way it looks like boxing's version of the civil war. Pacquio as Gen. Sherman and Mayweather as Gen. Grant, stomping through the enemy and burning hopes and big money dreams.
Anyway! back to the fight, As predicated, a game Ricky Hatton did exactly what the sarge and Tayo [co-worker] predicted he would do, and this is where the sarge and Tayo separate. You see, last week on Tuesday, Mr. Popoola [Tayo] came into the Sarge's encampment and said this:
"I think I know who I'm going to go with and it's going to surprise you." and in shock and awe of the forthcoming pick from a man who was titled the "the fight man" by the Major [co-worker], an expert! and great purveyor of the squared circle, the expert on December 7th, 2007, 66 years after what is called a day that will live in infamy, picked Ricky Hatton to win the fight!! His mind was made up! and would not listen to reason of any kind! the shop was closed and the expert billed us his expert fees and guess what?! we got knocked the (expletive) out! Well not we, but Ricky Hatton did.
Let me bring in John Madden of NBC Sports to describe that fateful ninth and tenth rounds...Come on in John, say hi to the group.
John: That was a great fight on Saturday...Who would've thought those British fans and the brits played the drums..I was expecting bag pipes, lets go to the madden-strator and see! see that guy with the drum and the two drum beating sticky things, he's pounding away, bam bam bam! that's all we heard were those ear drum ringing drums.
Me: Okay Madden, lets get to the fight, you were there, describe it...
John: Well in the ninth round it was obvious that the Floyd Mayweather's defensive line was wearing down and beating Hatton's offensive line in the trenches. Mayweather's defense held Hatton's offense in check all night long, beating him in the inside and had the outside covered. Let's look at the tape, you see here in the ninth round, you got Hatton doing his thing, and running his offense, he's trying to gain real estate, but Mayweather's defense is shutting all that down, now watch this change, when Mayweather's defense gets a take-away and is looking to score off Hatton's mistake, watch this, boom! Pow! and you got blood and cuts.
Me: Okay John, now the ninth round is over and it's the beginning of the tenth..Now I said, that Hatton's charging and pressing style was going to hurt him, cause of the defensive nature of Floyd and the fact that Floyd's hand speed is quicker. Basically, I said this:
"By the time, Hatton got to Floyd to do his one punch and hold tactic, he would've received a combination and quick right to the head."
Madden: Oh! boy, were you right! lets look at the tenth, you have Hatton, on his last hurrah, because he was hurt in the previous round, looking to go all or nothing, he's charging and BAM!! like you called it, Sarge!! Floyd throws a right and slips to his left and BOOM! a devestating left that causes an already charging forward Hatton to hit his head on the ring turn buckle.
Me: Have you seen anything like that before?
Madden: Only in those professional wrestling shows, but not in boxing....
Me: Well, thanks John, and please feel free to not place Minnesota's Adrian Peterson on your next Madden Game...
Madden: Why, whaddya mean, are saying it's a curse?
Me: You know darn well it is....Now scram before I weld some wings on your bus and you imitate the Wright Brothers going down some hill on the highway. Yeah, well your mother....Hall of Famer my a-, never mind.
Anyway as John put it, it was bam and boom! and Hatton ended up on his back. Now lets quickly touch on other sports:
NFL: Well it looks like the Patriots are going to go undefeated, they beat the Steelers and according to the Major [co-worker], he earned a dollar for a very small investment. The Cowboys came back to snatch victory from the Lions 28-27. The lions were beaten by Jason Whitten, when they made a conscious effort to shut down T.O., which they were successful at. Also, the Cowboys clinched their division, along with the Packers and Seahawks. On the AFC side, the Chargers came from behind to tie and win in overtime in Tennessee, putting the Titans in a very bad spot. I won't comment on LaDainian Tomlinson's act on the sideline, except to say all claims that he is a crybaby and a whiner. True. And I don't want to hear him call anyone or any team class-less.
NBA: Remember when Kareem was on his last legs in the league and when we once looked forward to seeing him with the ball, that turned into a skyhook, to grimacing when Magic passed the ball inside, knowing that Kareem didn't have it anymore. That was painful. Now, we're looking at an aging and battered Shaq do the same thing and the Heat better do something about that quickly. The Lakers have a three game winning streak and last night, Andrew Bynum showed he had a pulse and scored 20 points, yeah in one game!
NHL: After a good start to the hockey season, the Kings are, who they thought they were and the Ducks, well I dunno, I think they're still celebrating, but at least starting to win games.
NCAAB: The Wooden Classic was this weekend and the Bruins looked lackluster against Davidson, but righted the ship with a victory. It's nice to know that Duke is Duke and they're on TV, more than "Leave it to Beaver" re-runs. They looked good against Michigan. Or Michigan is really a bad team. USC's OJ Mayo is going to hear this a lot if teams shut him down, "hold the Mayo." Although the one and done freshman is looking good and getting pub. SC is playing inconsistent ball.
The Sarge Report is getting attention: On Thursday, L.A. Times Sports Columnist, Kurt Streeter e-mailed me in regard to former UCLA football coach Karl Dorrell. Of course most of you know that Streeter wrote a column that enraged some Bruins fans and me shaking my head when Streeter led Dorrell down "race card" alley. It seemed that new columnist had a lot to say and he went off on the Sarge. So after calming Streeter down, we were e-mailing back and forth all day on Friday. Now the Major ordered me to stand down and let Streeter get away with his rhetoric, but I couldn't resist.
posted by J.C. "Fanz23" Lewis, Jr | 3:38 PM
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