RF23-The Day the Prez Went Off

It's been awhile since I wrote a parody, so in light of the president's going to kick somebody's ass...I feel it's right to point out the day he actually went the ef off! enjoy.


Journalist: This is Cleotis Jackson from ABN, Always Black Network,and I'm in the white house, waiting to be escorted to the oval office to interview President Barack Obama. As you know the President just got back from Louisiana and he is now assessing his next move, while the oil continues to leak in the Gulf of Mexico. Oh! wait here comes the secret service..

SS: The president will see you now..

CJ: Okay, here we go..(Pause a few minutes) okay, we are in the Oval Office with the President and sir, thank you for allowing the viewers of ABN into the white house, I imagine your trip to Lousiana was an eye opener..

BO: Yes, it was and I thank the people of Louisiana for being outspoken and rightfully angry about the leak and the lack of leadership provided by BP and the prior administration.

CJ: What did you see?

BO: I saw Bo Bo, a street vendor selling Obama t-shirts and pins, I went to a local barbershop and Cleon mentioned that his clients haven't returned since Hurricane Katrina, I stopped by to see Ray Nagin and to congratulate him on his fast reaction to helping the people of New Orleans in Hurricane Katrina.

CJ: Well that's good, there are reports in the media that you were slow in getting to Louisiana and not showing enough emotion.

BO: Look, I was put in here, because I was cooler than the other side of the pillow, shoot! if the George "Iceman" Gervin wasn't born before me, I'll have his name..Barack "Ice man" Obama, how dat sound..

CJ: That's nice and you can play basketball too...Mr. President, I saw that game of horse you played against Clark Kellogg during March Madness..

BO: You saw that?

CJ: Yeah..

(President's aide comes in and President excuses himself)

BO: I'm sorry, I'm just told that those terrorist attacked a floatilla..

CJ: What, that's breaking news, was it Taliban, al qaeda?

BO: No, Israel, they boarded a boat of people who had weapons and apparently killed some of them..

CJ: The bastards, I think Helen Thomas was right, they should go back to where they come from, and Rosie O'Donnell recently added to that and said Germany is safe, since the ovens are gone...

BO: Oh that Rosie, she cracks me up, hey can I get you something or better yet, have my servant, George, I always wanted a servant named George and a maid named Laura..George, get Mr. Jackson, what?

CJ: I'll take an ice tea, with lemon..

BO: me too. Do I smell cigarette smoke on you...a newport man, huh?

CJ: Sorry Mr. President, I know you're trying to stop..

BO: Oh that's okay, I just like the smell of a cigarette, it's hard to stop, but between me and you, I go out in the back and get a puff or two, this job is so demanding, and look, I get congress to pass a healthcare bill and -

CJ: but the american people didn't want it..

BO: it's those tea baggers and if you interrupt me one more time, I'll -

CJ: but Mr. President, with all due respect, over sixty percent of the american people were against this bill and now over eighty percent of the american public is afraid you are going to ram an amnesty bill down their throats..

BO: Are you done, who you with again?

CJ: ABN, Always Black Network..

BO: Always black? then why questioning me like I'm on FOX News? Black folk don't care what I do, as long as I stay black I'm good..

CJ: Really? well, I'm black and I'm kinda upset that you're not upset that we got a big oil leak that is spreading and in that time, you managed to slam Arizona for enforcing a federal law! entertain the Mexican president, whose own country, has tougher illegal immigration laws that the United States, had two concerts, went on two vacations and by the way, what is up with all golf!? and with all that you brag about your nickname should have been "Ice Man." You saw "Hard Knocks" last year? Child puhleze! Ocho Cinco's definition...what do you have to say about that..

BO: Well, it's not true and your trying to get me riled up and act a fool, but I'm not, I disagee and I'm going to end this interview. What George..

George: We're out of tea bags..

BO: what do you mean, I heard we had millions of tea bags!

George: Sir, that tea partiers, not bags..

BO: what?! what the hell is the difference!? So are you telling me, if I wanted some kool aid, it would have been some damn group! ef that! get me some damn tea, or I'm going to kick your ass! and where's my aide!? Get me some people in here to answer why the gulf of mexico is all effed up! this is some bull bleep and someone fire that one secret service man, who keeps stepping on my damn shoes! How is it, I have both houses and can't get shht!! done and oh! get Reid's ass in here, I got some negro dialect for his ass!!


CJ (with president going off in the background) there you have it, I knew if I got his goad, I could get a reaction from him and there you have it, look at him, he's going off in here...ahem! so that's the way it is, and that's the way it was, I'm
Cleotis Jackson, reporting from the White House..Good night...